【EVENT】 New Year's Wishful Dreaming

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Wishful Dreaming Event

On the Eve of the New Year, the city of Starsand is surprisingly quiet. For a place so eager to throw parties, you might think that the streets would be full of life. But instead, Starsand’s streets are quiet and it’s citizens shutting down shops early. In this city, the last night of the year is contemplative and quiet. Citizens might make their last shrine visits, but it’s uncommon to see them out past 11.

They say that it’s important to fall asleep before the New Year, because you want to treasure your first dream of the New Year. Supposedly it’s lucky and prophetic. If you write it down and remember it, that dream can even guide you to your greatest desire. And rumors are always good ideas in Starsand.

Sleep comes easy on this night. Characters will find themselves getting drowsy by 4am at the latest. When they do fall asleep, they fall into a deep and elaborate dream.

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OOC NOTES

The first dream of the New Year will show characters their wishes come true. They will get to enjoy the life they long for. But strangely, they may find other Fallen Stars wandering into their dreams. These encounters may shake them out of their dreamlike state and make them aware that the dream is just that: A dream. If the dreamer denies their dream or has doubts, then the dreamscape will fall apart into a nightmare before both dreamer and visitor wake up.

It is possible to have multiple dreams: Characters must wake between dreams, even if just briefly, then fall back asleep in order to change their dream. There can be multiple visitors before the dream ends for good.

On the morning of January 1st, all characters who had a dream will find a prismatic crystal clenched in the palm of their hands. The crystal will reflect the contents of their dream, so long as they hold the same wish. If they change wishes or lose faith, then the crystal will turn black and melt into Rumor goo.

NPC characters may reply to dreams with clues. Please indicate which characters you want to receive clues by putting a “*” in their toplevel title. You may request clues for up to 3 characters. Thank you for your help!

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Comments

[composalvation]

... I'd like to think so.

[The work they do with Ena and Mizuki, the way Mafuyu can be her blunt and real self around Rinne when dragging the two of them out shopping, those soft quiet moments between them at the aquarium or the moon-viewing party... Mafuyu cares, so much, and now she's finally flourishing enough to be able to express that more.]

But she wouldn't be walking if she was side-by-side with me. She'd just be here. That's not fair to her.

[spacialeyes]

Do you not want to go anywhere, Kanade-san?

[It's a simple enough question, but Yuuto kneels down on the ground and prepares to be here for a long time. Kanade clearly has a lot on her mind and he's ready to stay as long as it takes.]

[composalvation]

... I don't know what I want now.

[It's a lot more honest than she is with a lot of people. She probably wouldn't admit it to Ena or Mizuki or even Mafuyu - because she doesn't want to worry them. They're all working through their own problems, and she doesn't want to burden them with hers. But... Yuuto understands. They'd understood each other from the moment they'd really talked at his shrine. So it's... a little easier, with him.]

We're able to write songs that can pull many people back from the brink. I was able to save Mafuyu. My dream for the past few years is coming true...

[She's happy. Really, she is. This was all she wanted...]

... But I never thought about what I would do after that.

[spacialeyes]

[It’s an openness that Yuuto values and respects; They both want to help people and they’re both used to being lovingly scolded for that. It can get tiring to be told that your form of caring is wrong.

So he doesn’t scold Kanade. He only nods in understanding, eyes drifting towards the door as he speaks.]

When your dream means helping people be happy on their own two feet… I guess that would mean you lose relevance, huh? If your value comes from helping others, then it gets lonely when they’re gone.

Has anyone come to help you, Kanade-san?

[composalvation]

[Lose relevance... that's it, isn't it? The loneliness is what starts to eat at her, and that soon sews guilt. What right does she have to feel like that when her friends are moving forward? How cruel is it, to think of herself like that?

Still seated in her computer chair, Kanade pulls her legs up so she can rest her chin on her knees.]

I think Mochizuki-san still comes by to clean. [She hasn't been in her room in a while, though.] My grandma still calls.

[But that's not... care.]

[spacialeyes]

Sorry, I didn’t mean who helps your room. Who helps you? When was the last time someone opened that door, just so that they could sit with you?

[It’s not fun to ask. Yuuto still remembers the pain of sitting around at his shrine, where no one visited. Not for ‘him,’ anyway. Not really until Kanade and Mafuyu started to care.

Which is perhaps why he feels the need to pay it forward. He knows how much it hurts to watch a door never open. But he also suspects:]

Asahina-san has come in just to sit with you, hasn’t she?

[composalvation]

... Sometimes. But she's been busy settling into college, so she hasn't had a lot of time to do much else. Which is fine...! I don't want to pull her away from something she's finally able to do.

[Especially since Mafuyu is going to school for something she wants to do, rather than what her parents want to do. The thrill must be incredible, and Kanade can't blame her at all for getting so caught up in it.]

[spacialeyes]

She comes to visit, because you’re part of her happiness, aren’t you?

When you make music, I don’t just hear notes on a page. [He gestures slightly to the walls around them.] You’re the one that I hear, Kanade-san. You’re the one who touched Asahina-san’s heart and I think you’re someone she wants to keep in her life.

I think that a lot of people feel that way. That isn’t a bad thing either.

[composalvation]

[Ah... her eyes sting as he speaks. Is she...?]

... But I don't know how to keep going on now.

[He... he gets it, right? They're both cursed. He'd understand.]

I don't know what I can do to keep moving, without the goal I've been working so hard for. I don't know what I can do to earn that spot in her life.

[spacialeyes]

Kanade-san...

[He's still kneeling on the floor, watching her as she sits in the chair by her computer. It's such a lonely sight and he catches himself wondering how long she's lived this way. It would explain why she's so frail and pale. Anything he says about people wanting to help her is hypocritical, because Yuuto has never been one of the people to open that door and visit her before now. She's always had to meet him halfway.

Kinda sucks.

But what could she do? He does understand being a curse and staying hidden away.]

I'm sorry. I don't know the answer to that. I've never figured out how to deserve the kindness that I'm given either... But that doesn't make it worthless either, right? The 'love' that people have for you is a good thing. I don't know if 'love' is something you can earn through mathematical formulas that 'equal' each other.

[composalvation]

[The way she sits hunched in that chair, back bowed but still seemingly comfortable, the wear and imprints on the chair... it gives the impression that she's sat here for a very, very long time.]

... I don't know if love would be the right word...

[Even with how much the conversation is weighing them down, a light hint of pink manages to bloom on her cheeks.]

[spacialeyes]

Love is love. It can come in a lot of forms, but they're all valuable... and I think people love you, Kanade-san. I think Asahina-san loves you.

[Though, Yuuto is no stranger to how that is a hard thing to accept. He still can't comprehend the love of his own boyfriend.]

The fact that your existence causes 'love' in the hearts of others is a really amazing thing... so um. I'm sorry if it's not the answer you were looking for, but you don't need to know your next step yet? Letting people love you might be enough for a while... maybe?

[composalvation]

[Letting people love her... when was the last time Kanade had done that? She'd protested so hard when her grandmother had offered to pay for a housekeeping service, when she'd only worried about Kanade's health and living situation. She hadn't said a word when her father finally woke up and had no memory of her, pretending she was a stranger when he excitedly told her about how his unborn daughter's name was Kanade as well.]

... But what if I never know what that next step is? What if I hurt them because of that love?

[She can't let that happen. She'd die before she hurt any of the people precious to her again.]

[spacialeyes]

I’m sorry to ask something so personal, but…

[And he really is sorry. Yuuto hopes that this will prove a point, but he’s also worried about hurting Kanade in the process. Which makes his question almost ironic:]

When the people that you love hurt you, what do you do?

[composalvation]

[She tilts her head to one side.]

I don't think anyone's ever hurt me...

["I'm sorry. I'm not sure I got your name."

She shakes her head as the voice of her father, completely void of familiarity, echoes in her mind. It wasn't his fault, she thinks. He wasn't being cruel. He's just sick. It's not fair to feel bad over what he said.

Still...

"We're actually about to become parents. My wife's in her second trimester."

"My wife and I love music very much, so we're hoping that we'll be able to enjoy it together as a family."

... It was her fault he's like that now. She doesn't have the right to be upset or hurt...]

... But I've hurt someone terribly before, when I thought I was doing something good. When I thought I was supporting him.

[spacialeyes]

[Something about her answer feels like a false truth, but Yuuto doesn't call her out on it. He's not stranger to that reaction either: How can you blame someone for hurting you, because they were in pain? He's never figured out how to handle that either. It's no one's fault, but his own, that Yuuto is a disappointment. It's no one's fault, but his own, that he gets hurt when people realize that fact.

But he doesn't like to see it in Kanade. She's been endlessly kind since they met, but she also seems to be in a lot of pain. Yuuto tries to organize his thoughts again, looking around the room once more before settling his gaze on Kanade.]

... Mm. It's hard. Even when we have the best intentions, sometimes we're gonna mess up. I learned that recently too.

But I learned something else too..? If I may share?

[composalvation]

[Kanade lets out a small huff, which may have been an attempt at a laugh, but it's far too hollow to pass as such. If he only knew how bad she "messed up"...]

... Of course. You can tell me anything, Yuuto-san.

[spacialeyes]

[And may she never know how he’s messed up.

Even in admitting this much, Yuuto feels very emotionally exposed:]

… I’ve done some truly terrible things. I’ve ruined so many lives… I thought that something like me deserved to be in pain. I still think… maybe I have debts that I can’t pay in normal ways.

But no matter how much I say that to people, they tell me I’m wrong. I didn’t understand it until recently… It’s not because they think I did nothing wrong. I think… maybe…

Our friends love us more than any pain we can cause them. I’m starting to think that maybe… maybe I’ve been underestimating how kind and strong they are. Maybe that’s another sin of mine, but… I wonder if it’s true for your friends too. Maybe it’s time for us to trust their strength and capacity to love..?

[composalvation]

[There's a moment of silence as Kanade process what he says; the words hang in the air between them, heavy and yet... not. There's no shunning of his words, just... letting them sink in.]

I understand. As hard as I work to atone for my sin... a part of me thinks I'll never be able to. Not after what I did.

[There's a creak of Kanade's chair as she moves. It's only a few steps, but she gets out of her chair, setting her headphones aside, so she can take a seat next to him on the floor, leaning back against her bed.]

... I don't know if I can just... let myself be happy like that. It's not fair, that I'm happy. [Not when her father still lies bedridden in the hospital after two years...] But maybe... I can start listening more, when they say good things.

[She's not sure if she can accept it. Not right away. But listening is a good start, right?]

[spacialeyes]

[He makes some room for her on the floor, seeing as the room is a bit difficult to navigate, and listens. Yuuto looks at the ceiling now, pulling his own knees to his chest as her words sink in.

Even if he says pretty and hopeful words, Yuuto knows that it's true. His long life has been marked with more lessons that prove the concept that happiness is distributed unfairly. After all, he's aware that his existence has left a trail of sadness and heartbreak over a hundred years long. His very birth starts a cycle of suffering for his entire family.

'Curses' like Kanade and him shouldn't be happy.]

Mm. I think that's a good start. I think that our friends would like that.

[Yuuto closes his eyes and sighs.]

We should go outside. They'll worry about you.

[composalvation]

... I guess... I could go and see what's going on outside. For a little while.

[...]

Thank you, Yuuto-san.

[Her voice is so soft and gentle, but there's a weight to those words. Not the heavy, stifling, crushing kind of weight. Instead, it's... warm. Like a comfortable weighted blanket.]

[spacialeyes]

I haven’t done anything to be thanked for… [- is probably such a familiar answer. He laughs a bit, realizing that he’s fallen into a bad habit.]

… But you too. It’s easy to talk to you.

I’m sorry that you understand me.

[composalvation]

[Ah, yep. That's a familiar brushing off that Kanade knows well. But because she knows the feeling so well, she doesn't seem put off at all as he says it.]

Me too. I wouldn't wish this sort of curse on anyone.

[And yet... it feels a little less sharp in her chest, knowing someone understands. And she hates herself just a little bit for feeling that way.]

And I'm sorry for all of that happening when you were just... [She trails off, blinking.] Visiting?

[Huh. It's only just now starting to sink in how odd it is that Yuuto's here, all of a sudden.]

Is that why you're here? Did you come by to say hello?

[spacialeyes]

[He’s about to offer to walk outside with her, so that they can share the burden of their friends’ warm concerns, when she brings that up.

Was he… visiting? But he doesn’t remember coming through the front door… or what Kanade’s bedroom door looks like from the outside. He’s never gone far into her house before.

The gears in his brain turn.]

Ah, I- Did I..?

[… Did he break into her room with his power?

Yuuto stands up quickly.]

I am so sorry. I think I need an intervention.

[composalvation]

[Honestly, it's this that's more surprising than his sudden arrival in her room. She stands up with him, blinking in confusion at his sudden fretting.]

I-I think it's fine, really...! There's nothing to worry about.

[Reassure him first, always.]

Is everything okay? Did you appear here on accident?