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sparring with an audience
[If you're passing by the detective agency's office today, you might get to see a fight. Fauna, a familiar sight to most around Starsand, and Atsushi - no, the other one. The other other one.
Atsushi's grinning as they battle, so there's probably no bad blood involved… then again, with these two, it's hard to tell, especially with Fauna's mask covering any expression she might make.
Atsushi is a straightforward fighter, and his strikes with his sword are powerful. He doesn't dodge much, but he takes Fauna's fire and ice attacks head-on and keeps going strong. His attacks are almost reckless, the aggressive style of someone who knows he can tank any hit his opponent deals him and can fix any injuries later, trading openings in his own form for damage dealt to his opponent.
Fauna's fighting style, in contrast to her normal, headstrong nature, is quite methodical- First, blasts of fire and ice, scarring the battlefield to restrict her opponent's movements. Then a form change to her owl form, a bombardment of high-speed knives as she flies around to create openings. Then, when she's finally restricted and worn her opponent down, she strikes- Her lion form comes in swinging, intending to end it in a single, electric blow.
The battle ends in a draw, with Atsushi's sword at Fauna's neck and Fauna's sword at his heart. There's plenty of time afterwards to catch either of the two in conversation, if you've stuck around to watch.]
Atsushi's grinning as they battle, so there's probably no bad blood involved… then again, with these two, it's hard to tell, especially with Fauna's mask covering any expression she might make.
Atsushi is a straightforward fighter, and his strikes with his sword are powerful. He doesn't dodge much, but he takes Fauna's fire and ice attacks head-on and keeps going strong. His attacks are almost reckless, the aggressive style of someone who knows he can tank any hit his opponent deals him and can fix any injuries later, trading openings in his own form for damage dealt to his opponent.
Fauna's fighting style, in contrast to her normal, headstrong nature, is quite methodical- First, blasts of fire and ice, scarring the battlefield to restrict her opponent's movements. Then a form change to her owl form, a bombardment of high-speed knives as she flies around to create openings. Then, when she's finally restricted and worn her opponent down, she strikes- Her lion form comes in swinging, intending to end it in a single, electric blow.
The battle ends in a draw, with Atsushi's sword at Fauna's neck and Fauna's sword at his heart. There's plenty of time afterwards to catch either of the two in conversation, if you've stuck around to watch.]
Re: TALK TO FAUNA
[Pidonus Marasia, of course, had practically shown up the instant she heard about this. Teleportation was nice like that.]
Any real injuries you want healed up quickly?
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[She's laughing, though.]
I'm fine. My armor took most of the damage.
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I didn't mean to make it sound odd. My own standards would probably be very screwy as well, even just as a Bard.
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Amongst us Fallen Stars, amongst the people of this city who you've fought to defend. I think you've done better for yourself than you might think.
And that's awesome.
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And you deserve that. You deserve to be happy...
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[Pidonus looks downward.]
Against a world that growingly disagrees with that assessment, what drives you to hold to it? To reject the idea that you're worthy of being treated with kindness, even - perhaps especially - if you didn't receive or give it back home?
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[Fauna folds her arms.]
I've ruined lives. I deluded myself and said it was for a better world, but I hurt so many people, and destroyed so many lives.
If I just forgive myself and accept happiness, then what does that mean for those people? How will they get justice? Do I just smile and say oh, sorry, but I deserve happiness too, so they can't do anything? They can't be angry at me anymore because I changed while I was off in another world?
It's not just. I can't receive kindness or be happy. Not until I've at least made up for all I've done, and done as much good as I did harm before.
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[... Pidonus Marasia doesn't often look angry. But by the end of Fauna's response...]
... Do you think, Fauna, that you are alone in this?
That you are the only one who caused suffering to others? Who led herself to believe it was for a better world, when really it was just for revenge and to obey a master who had brainwashed her into servitude?
Who probably deserves far, far more than what she continuously got, all the way through?
I should have died, Fauna. I should never have gotten the chance to see the defeat of the one who someone so hated as to sell her soul and even more than that for revenge.
I can't even face those who I hurt and let them bring justice to me - and not just because I am here, and not some "I'm not emotionally strong enough" excuse.
I'm going to have a hell of a lot of work to do to fix and make up for three years - my entire existence except for maybe one day before I showed up here - three years of being an evil manipulative seductress. Worse, I know, for a fact, too many of those I affected will forgive me when I will be entirely certain I do not deserve it.
You know what won't help with that, though? Beating the current Pidonus Marasia up for it. Or the current Fauna, for that matter.
Making yourself suffer now as some kind of atonement for who you were - that doesn't even make you feel better, does it? Sure as shit it's not justice for your past misdeeds. Doesn't make shit up to those you hurt before, they'll never even see it. Doesn't fix the damages on some illusory moral compass.
It's just you hurting yourself pointlessly.
Forgiving yourself, maybe that's a bit much to ask for. But accepting the help of others, who see who you are here and now? Who are hurt when you continuously insist you aren't worth their effort?
All you do by rejecting that is hurt more people, Fauna. So, even if you feel like you don't deserve happiness?
Maybe you should try to accept some of it anyways, and worry about 'earning' it relative to your past later.
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[Fauna reaches out to grab Pidonus by her collar.]
So what? I'm not going to just pretend none of that happened! I have to do something to make up for it, and pretending that I'm not that person anymore isn't doing anything for anyone, okay?! I know better than anyone else that I can't fix anything like this, but I still can't accept it!
If I want to make a just world, then it can't come from ignoring everything I've done!
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... How does hurting yourself, not even for those who did you - no, at all - serve justice? How does it mollify those you previously hurt?
I'll tell you how.
[The fingers against Fauna's shoulder... They suddenly feel sharp. Not enough to cut into her clothing or skin, but.
If anyone's looking, it's like her glove disappeared, and her fingers sharpened into talons.]
It doesn't.
[The sharpness fades. Her glove's back.]
Every kindness you accept now is no repayment upon your past deeds. But neither, in any way, does it make them worse.
Given that, you can either keep hurting people here and now for some illusion of justice. Or, you can break that cycle.
Tell me, Fauna. Which is more 'Just'?
I'd think stopping the harm is a better first step.
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[She's... taking a swing at Pidonus now. Just trying to punch her in the jaw.]
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[Pidonus does not so much as flinch as the swing approaches her jaw - only when it hits does her face much react at all.
It should be enough to break it... In fact, Fauna can almost feel the damage it should have dealt.
But, as soon as her fist comes down, it seems to pop back into place. Like the demon has instantly healed from the wound.
Pidonus does not, however, say another word in reply. ]
[Instead, she just smiles, the arm that was on Fauna's shoulder moving quickly to pull the girl into a hug. Depending on the angle, Fauna's head may be against her chest.
Still, Pidonus says nothing. Nor, those outside might notice, does she try any magic or anything.]
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