starsand | closed w Elliot

closed w Elliot

And so, thanks to an icebreaker, Leo decided to break his own heart.

[And Leo thought that the last Rumor meeting was exhausting. He hated social situations enough already, but this latest meeting topped the charts. Not only that, but walks home with Elliot had never been so miserable. Being teased about having a crush would have been one thing, but Leo knew it wouldn't work out. He was well aware that Elliot was about to go from a teasing best friend to an angry... what? What was going to happen? Leo had already lived a life without Elliot, but the emptiness left behind was still 'his best friend.' The chair was empty not because Elliot chose for it to be, but now...

The thought of Elliot willingly leaving his life made the pain real all over again.

Leo tried to at least enjoy the walk. With a mix of bickering, defensive behavior, and trying to tease Elliot back. It was his last chance to walk with Elliot as an equal and he wanted to enjoy it. As they entered their apartment, Leo felt the warmth evaporate. He became quiet, heart pounding anxiously, and lost the sparks in his eyes.]

Well. Let's get this over with. Take a seat and I'll get the draft.

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[His breath hitches and Leo is sure he's turning a new shade of red. Elliot is so close and lovingly acknowledging his flaws. The only thing that he won't ask Elliot to acknowledge is his habit of hiding behind glasses, but that's fine. Leo wouldn't be sad if Elliot crushed them for real, actually. He doesn't need a keepsake when Elliot is right here.

Leo tries to quiet his own breathing, listening as he presses closer in the embrace.]

Mine too. I was trying to keep it quiet. [But it's not a secret anymore. Ever the musician, Leo notes that it's nice to have a new duet with Elliot. These new feelings are ones he looks forward to getting used to. Even knowing it won't be forever, Leo is much happier in knowing.

With smile brightens when Elliot buries his face again his hair. Leo even laughs and tightens his hold. His missing arm relaxes in Elliot's hold, trusting him with his past and future.] So you have nothing to apologize for. I told myself I only wanted to be at your side.

[He sighs contently, before adding;] My story was really stupid, huh? I'm glad I asked for your help.

[They have always been equals, and that means facing eachother's flaws and calling them out as well as their strengths. Now that means acknowledging that he loves everything about Leo-- not just his intelligence, loyalty and smile, but what makes him weak as well. Elliot's known he's loved everything about Leo for a while.]

It's not fair if I'm the only one being loud. [He's teasing him. Every duet has an ending, but he is grateful that they're playing the piece of their choice, and not settling for anything less. If it's temporary, then Elliot wants to feel everything--every ounce of happiness, every hand-hold and soft glance, every time Leo attempts to make coffee--he wants to experience all of it, and he wants the same for Leo. He gently massages Leo's stump, his hand tangled in his hair.]

You're the only one I've ever wanted by my side. I hope you know that.

[Elliot had never planned to marry, or even pretend to date. He can't help but laugh at the comment, his face warm as he selfishly pulls Leo closer.] This ending's better. For Book 1, anyway. ...Looks like you'll need to write a sequel.

[Leo buries his face against Elliot's shoulder, indulging in the shared warmth and encouraging a closer embrace. The feeling of his touch on Leo's stump is strange, but not unwelcome and only encourages Leo to relax. He's sure his heart isn't quiet anymore as he appreciates Elliot's touch. The sound of their duet is comforting. Leo briefly wonders how 'Statice' would sound at this pace, but keeps that embarrassing thought private.]

Then I won't share you. I won't hold back either? [Though, perhaps he will slowly ease into making his feelings obvious in public. Even the most affectionate couples back home acted with a level of privacy. It's equal parts exciting and terrifying to imagine how their relationship will change.]

Yes. I'll have to rewrite the ending... No. It feels more like a new beginning. This 'story' will be new. [Glen can keep their hands off this one too.

With another content sigh, Leo does reluctantly whisper;] But I really do need to bring you home. I am serious about checking your head, Elliot. If this story starts with a bruise on your forehead then I'll be very upset.

[Elliot inhales deeply, his own heart a racing tempo that he doesn't wish to quiet. It's proof to him that this is real. Leo has changed so much, yet he hasn't at the same time. Embracing him feels right. He wants to write a new song with Leo, something just for him that is meant for him from the beginning.] You've never held back when it's important. You're a pain like that.

[He teases him gently. As much as he wants to convince himself he'll be cool about this, Elliot is easy to fluster, even moreso about someone so precious to him. He holds onto Leo selfishly, burying his face in his shoulder.] I won't share you either. Deal with it.

[Those words don't make Elliot gasp, or tear up, or react noticeably, but when he hears Leo say that his heart feels lighter, like he's floating.] I like that...but the new story needs a new title.

Leo. [Elliot grumbles stubbornly, tightening the hug a little.] I told you I am fine.

Good. [Leo chuckles softly, voice lowering in a sincere note:] Don't let anyone else have me, Elliot. I'm yours alone, 'Master.'

[A bold declaration, more romantically intended than anything Leo expected of himself. But hearing Elliot's heart next to his own and knowing how real this is gives Leo the courage to be braver. Perhaps a bit more honest with his own darkness than is socially accepted, but this is Elliot. If anyone will accept Leo and all his broken parts, it's Elliot. When Leo whispers the formal title of 'master' this time, he means to give Elliot permission to be possessive. Leo knows that he will certainly be greedy and selfish for the start of their relationship. He won't be a fairytale lover and he knows it.

Part of that means sighing in fake annoyance and, in the same breath, lifting his hand behind Elliot's head to brush the hair at the base of his neck.]

Then how am I going to let you go? I'll stay here forever if you don't give me a reason to release you... [He brushes his face against Elliot's shoulder affectionately,] I've wanted this 'story' for so long.

[...Give Elliot a moment, because if his heart was racing before, now it's deafening. He's never really read any romance books, his knowledge on the subject practically nonexistent, but Leo's words--

Elliot feels a bit dizzy. He doesn't break the embrace, but he does lift up his head to look at him, not even attempting to hide the fact that he's flustered. A furious pink dusts across his cheek, neck and ears, and he briefly forgets how to use words.]

............Ah?

[He squeezes the fabric of Leo's shirt and makes a noise between embarrassment and awe at the simple movement of Leo's hand. He'd always accept the darkest and most broken parts of Leo, just as he's certain Leo would accept his destructive anger and unpleasant parts...but since when had Leo become so good at this?!

Afraid that if he speaks it will just be a clumsy disaster of words, he experimentally lets go one hand to tilt Leo's chin up and search his eyes. His blush would put some of their former classmates to shame, but he tries to say something.]

I-- I know you have. I have too. [...] Don't release me, Leo.

[This side of Elliot is precious and Leo is guilty of enjoying the way Elliot forgets his words. Seeing his own have such a strong effect is satisfying. Leo knows well that the sight of Elliot turning pink and flustered would have fetched a pretty penny at school... But he's selfish. He won't even tell anyone that Elliot can look like this. Leo's greed for his friend has already started.

He lets Elliot lift his head and meets his gaze. Breathless himself as he admires the clear blue of Elliot's eyes, shameless in how he searches for an answer. Leo raises just slightly on his toes as a wordless offer. They've only just confessed, but he's the worst servant. He wants more than he can give in return and the includes wanting all of Elliot. Every flash of anger and gentle moment between.

He's reminded of the first time he envied a tea cup that got to touch his friend's lips.]

Are you sure you want to say that to me, Elliot? [His whisper is as much a challenge as an offer. Leo isn't holding back the dark glint in his eyes as he holds himself tiptoe, just enough to even the small distance in their height.] I may very well choose never to free you now that you're mine.

[Elliot prefers it that way. He shares this side with Leo because he is dear to him; it isn't something he does lightly, but that he trusts Leo with. He can be vulnerable around him, just like Leo is able to be honest with him.

And he likes that Leo is possessive of him. As flustering as it is, knowing that Leo wants him leaves his body warm and a soft feeling in his chest. He holds his breath as Leo stands on his toes, watching his lips move and how his eyes seem like sparks.

He yearns to lean in and feel those lips against his, but would that be too bold?]

...You're impossible. You always do what you want. [He huffs, seeing the challenge for what it is and of course refusing to relent. His words may be strong, but as he holds Leo's face in his hands, his movements are gentle, brushing a stray strand of hair away from his cheek as he leans in slowly to capture his friend's lips with his. It's delicate, shy...but Elliot has never felt this excited and nervous all at once.]

[Elliot isn't wrong: Leo will do what he wants. He had been ready to initiate a kiss himself, providing that Elliot sent the appropriate signals. If he's shy, then Leo will be bold. He knows that when it's his turn to be shy, Elliot will be what Leo cannot. To Leo, Elliot can fill any emptiness with light.

So it's fitting that, just as Leo is getting lost in his adoration, Elliot should take the initiative. Leo feels a skip in his pulse as their lips touch, having not expected Elliot to take action. His body feels light and warm. Leo keeps his hand behind Elliot's head and closes his eyes, trusting himself to this feeling. It's nothing like what he's read in books. It's endlessly light. No one had written a warning for how pleasantly vulnerable their first kiss would leave him feeling.

Leo breaks the kiss to breath. Another thing that books didn't prepare him for. Making eye contact again, Leo is completely silent. His heart is racing and he can feel warmth colouring his face. He's supposed to be good with words, but Leo can't find a single one to describe how he feels. It reminds him of watching light return to the Abyss.]

[Leo is anything but empty to Elliot. There's darkness, deep and angry that makes Elliot's own rage seem minuscule, but he's certainly not empty. It's just that most people don't bother to look-- a dark pond could be a few inches deep, or it could span hundreds of feet. But Elliot was lonely, and Leo is the one person who can handle his more jagged edges without being patronizing. He punches him and calls him out on his stupidity when he deserves it, yet he sees Elliot for who he really is: an equal. They balance eachother out and anticipate eachother's actions, much like their duets.

He's nervous and awkward about the kiss at first, holding his breath, but slowly he relaxes a bit. The excitement and newness of it is incomparable to reading a new book or writing a new song-- Leo's warmth, his scent, the way he holds Elliot still, everything is so vivid now. Leo has no idea. He has no idea of how brilliant he makes Elliot's world.

His heart has not stopped its racing, but in Elliot's ears its muted now. He wants to write this precious memory into his heart and keep it to himself. The kiss ends, and Elliot opens his eyes, breathless and flushed like he just ran a marathon. His own expression is almost shy, but he can't tear his gaze away from the constellations in Leo's eyes and the way that he looks back at him. He doesn't need words right now. This is more than enough.]

[The kiss is broken and Leo still can't find the right words. There's a lot to say, yet nothing needs to be said either. The look they share silently speaks for them anyway. Leo's hand slips from behind Elliot's head, across his shoulder, and eventually clutches the front of his shirt.
Though he wants to stare into those eyes forever, Leo realizes he's dizzy with happiness and has to rest his head on Elliot's shoulder. The quiet is comfortable and he doesn't want to immediately break it. When he turns his head to look at the garden, Leo finds that the world is more dazzling than before. He's not sure if he's seeing the Abyss, or if maybe this is that 'love tinted world' that romance novels like to go on about. It sounded so stupid and cliché on the page that he's almost embarrassed to experience it in practice.

Leo didn't realize the world could be bright and beautiful. He sighs and buries his face shyly against Elliot again.]

... Take me home, Elliot. [Such a bossy servant.]

[It sounds cliche and cheesy, but Elliot doesn't need words right now. He feels like he can understand everything by Leo's gaze alone, which is completely ridiculous, but how he feels. He holds Leo's hand in his own, keeping his other wrapped around his shoulder, his servant's head on his shoulder a comfortable weight that proves this is real and not a dream. Smiling, Elliot lets his head drop against Leo's, breathing in his scent.

It is beautiful, isn't it? All of it. From the garden and the stars to Leo's bossiness and their arguments and quiet moments.

Maybe it's because he's still floating in that dreamlike daze, but when Leo says it like that...he wants to try something and tease him. Still gentle, he quite literally sweeps Leo off his feet to hold him princess-style. It's silly and unheard of back home, and it embarrasses Elliot just as much-- but Leo's the one who ordered him to take him home.]

Hm...I was right. You are light.

[Separating to walk home would have been a necessary disappointment. Leo would have taken Elliot's hand and tried to lean against his shoulder, but even that wouldn't be the same as their current comfortable state. He feels Elliot begin to move and sighs quietly, reminding himself that this isn't the end but the beginning--

And then his feet are off the ground. Leo yelps in surprise and grabs Elliot's shoulder, instinctively clinging before he fully understands what has happened. It's not until Elliot comments on his weight that it all clicks. Leo can't turn off an embarrassed stutter as he struggles for words-]

E, Elliot! What are you... [It's not actually the worst thing to happen. And Leo knows that if he protests too much, Elliot will probably put his down as a tease. That's not what Leo wants either.

So he swallows his nerves and stubbornly puts his arm around Elliot's neck. If he's going to be embarrassing, then Leo will return the favor! Now they can both die.]

... Drop me and I'm taking you with me.

[Elliot can't help it. When he sees Leo's reaction he laughs, light and unburdened by his old worries. Seeing Leo get so flustered is...it's cute, especially since he can always rely on Leo to have a snarky and eloquent comment prepared. It's very rare to see him stumbling over his words like this, and Elliot feels a bit smug knowing he accomplished that.

Ah...but stupid Leo is also a lot quicker to adapt. He immediately goes quiet as it backfires (only not really). Elliot isn't sure if it's physically possible to blush so much, but here they are and if Leo is going to be stubborn he's going to be equally stubborn.]

Tch. You really think I'd be clumsy enough to drop you?

[Still, now that he's holding Leo he finds he doesn't really want to put him down. Holding onto him, he starts walking back to their apartment.]

No. I think you'd drop me out of spite!

[Or, well. A stubborn need to win an argument. Leo knows that Elliot wouldn't drop him for a cruel reason like spite. He presses his face against Elliot's shoulder anyway and commits to at least being comfortably humiliated.
The most that Elliot is going to get on the way home is a soft mumble. Other than that, Leo is silent for the walk because he knows he'll say something stupid and hand Elliot an easy victory. That's not how things work between them!]

... I love you, Elliot. Thank you.

You're an idiot!

[Elliot shouts back. It's good the garden is empty by this hour, otherwise the stares they would have attracted may have made Elliot melt into a puddle of embarrassment on the spot.

But Leo is warm and easy to carry, and as they walk in silence Elliot finds it becomes more natural and less awkward, though he still feels feverish. Can love actually make you sick?]

I love you too. ...Don't run away again.

[He holds him a bit closer, whispering the last part and sounding more vulnerable as he does. He goes quiet again for the rest of their trip back home. Their home.]

Edited 2022-06-18 06:17 (UTC)

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closed w Elliot

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